It's better late than never
by jamieschmidt
Summary: Carlos and James have admired each other from afar, but never discussed their feelings for one another. After a bad break up, Carlos and James become closer than ever. But Logan isn't sure if he's ready to settle...    Contains Jarlos/Kogan/Cargan
1. All because of you, girl

Chapter 1: All because of you, girl

"James man, we gotta get going," I said, looking down at him.

James looked up at me, then at the clock across the room. "How long have I been sitting here?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"A little over an hour. Sorry man, but everyone's waiting. For you. I know you're not in the best mood right now, but we gotta go," I said.

James looked at the clock again then stood up, scratching his head. He rubbed his eyes and looked at me. "I just can't believe it happened," he said.

"I know man. But it happens to everyone at some time," I replied. I stared at him until he finally met my gaze. "I'm sorry," I said once I realized I had hurt his feelings.

"I'm fine. Let's go."

"No. I'm sorry. I was being harsh. It's just that, I kinda told you it was going to happen. You can't expect her to just forgive you after something like that. Especially if you didn't tell her right away, and that you weren't even the one to tell her. She's hurt. But she will call you back. Just stop trying for now, and give her space to breathe and figure things out," I said.

James nodded. "Yeah, okay." He locked his iPhone and slid it into his pocket.

"Let's go."

We walked out together, me rubbing James's back. I felt horrible. What James didn't know is that I was the one who told Brooke. I told her I saw James kissing a girl backstage, after one of our shows. I wasn't sure if he even knew what he was doing. But once I realized he hadn't told her, I did. And she broke up with him. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but I still felt bad. For James. I never liked Brooke.

We walked up to the others, standing by the car. "Hey guys," I greeted them. Logan and Kendall looked at me then James expectantly. I nodded slightly. Kendall exhaled and said, "Well. We should get going. We're already late by…" He looked at his phone, "20 minutes."

Logan made a face then got in the car. After everyone piled in, he said, "I don't even wanna do this interview. How did we get forced into this?"

"I don't know, but I hope it doesn't take long," Kendall said.

"And I hope it isn't being filmed," Logan added.

I looked over at James, sitting next to me. He was looking out the window, but I saw his hand on his pocket, over his phone.

Logan and Kendall kept up a steady stream of complaints about the heat and the waste of time this was going to be. I tuned them out.

Once we arrived at the radio station, we all got out and saw tons of fans. This was a last minute interview, how did so many people know about it?

I saw James's face switch immediately to happiness. The fans wouldn't know he was faking it. Our bodyguards ran out of their car and tried to rush us into the building. James stayed for a little, signing autographs, but after 2 minutes, he went inside. I tried to sign and take as many pictures as I could. I chatted with each fan a little, letting them know they were awesome. It made me feel good to compliment them. They handed me a bunch of stuff, and after the bodyguards finally ushered me inside, I was carrying a pile of stuff. This poster was to go to Kendall, this bracelet to James. I dropped it all off in the lobby, then followed Logan to the interview room.

When I walked inside, I held in a groan. Two old men sat in front of the room. There were four chairs in front of them, and about 10 cameras. It was hot as hell in there, and I saw Kendall sweating already. He wiped his forehead and took a seat. I sat in the last available seat, between Logan and James. James was sitting on the end, staring at his microphone. I nudged him as I sat down, and gave him a look. Basically telling him to suck it up and put on a decent face. He straightened up and smiled.

The interview seemed to last forever, and the old men had almost no idea who we even were. I was sweating a lot, and I could tell the other guys were, too. I asked one of the people on the sides for a bottle of water but she shook her head and mouthed 'sorry'. I sighed, and looked around. Kendall was going on about our new season, and Logan was discreetly texting inside his hat on his lap. I smiled and shook my head.

I looked at James and saw him actually paying attention. He looked down at me and smiled. It wasn't one of those 'I'm totally faking it' smiles, but an 'I think I'm getting over it' kind. I smiled back, and he mock-pinched my shoulder.

One of the guys asked James a question, and he started answering it, but Logan kept cutting him off. Everyone was laughing, but I was wondering how they were actually enjoying themselves. This was torture.

After the interview finally ended, I rushed out to the fans and again, spent as much time with them as I could. We didn't have to go anywhere for another two hours, so the bodyguards let it slide. I looked over at James talking animatedly with a fan and smiled, knowing he wasn't faking it anymore.


	2. Oh, it's gonna be a big night

Chapter 2: Oh, it's gonna be a big night

After an hour of talking to fans, we all climbed back into the car. Logan and Kendall were talking about a couple of girls in the crowd, and James was yawning and leaning his head against the window. I closed my eyes and thought about James. I still felt bad, but I think it was good for him and Brooke to break up. I could tell he wasn't that into her. Sure, on the phone and on Skype he was all lovey-dovey. I even heard them having phone sex before. But in person, whenever she touched him, he would unconsciously shy away from it. I've never even seen him kiss her. To be honest, I think James should take a break from girls for a while. Maybe experiment a little…

Yeah right. James would never go gay. Or even bi. I couldn't help that I think of him in a sexual way sometimes, but I don't even consider myself gay. James sat up straight and leaned his head back. He put his arm around my shoulder, and I could feel my heart start beating faster. My palms began to sweat and I told myself to get over it. It's just around my shoulder; I should stop getting so worked up over nothing. It was really tempting to lean my head on his chest though. Very tempting.

When we stopped at a diner, I leaned away, to see if James was asleep. He was looking up at the roof, and I nudged him. I wonder what he was thinking so hard about. Brooke, no doubt. He looked over at me, and out the window. "Wow, we're here already?" He said.

"Yeah right, took us long enough," Kendall said, hopping out of the car. We all followed him out and into the diner. It was a small place, and not too busy, which was perfect. We all sat in a booth, Kendall and Logan on one side, and James and I on the other. I pictured myself being here alone, with just James. We wouldn't both sit on one side, like those cheesy couples. We would face each other and hold hands. Share a milkshake.

"Carlos!" Logan's voice snapped me out of it.

"What?"

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" he asked.

I felt James looking at me and I blushed. "Nothing," I mumbled, looking down.

"Anyways, what did you think of that damn interview?"

"Annoying, hot, and long as hell," I replied.

"My thoughts exactly," Kendall said.

"Yeah, but I can't ignore everything that's wrong and be friendly like you, Kendall."

He laughed, and I said, "I'm being serious! I was about ten minutes away from running out of the room."

Everyone laughed, and Kendall laughed harder than before. I finally smiled, and laughed along.

After dinner, Kendall reminded us that we had a guest appearance on a TV show tomorrow night. I had completely forgotten about that. Apparently, it was some late night TV show and we were supposed to go on and play truth or dare or something like that. I was actually looking forward to it.

"Wait a minute, where is it?" I asked.

"Here," Kendall said, "Like a few miles away."

"Okay good. I really don't feel like driving anywhere. Or flying."

"Well, you know we have to fly to New Jersey in two days, right?" Logan asked.

"Yep, for the concert." James said.

"Why do I always forget the schedule?" I asked, exasperated.

"Because you're silly," James said pushing my shoulder and smiling. I was stunned by his smile for a second, before I could smile back.

We all went back to the car to go to the hotel. I was ready to crash.

After the short drive, I was expecting to go right to our rooms. But we got held back. Apparently, they had forgotten to book our rooms. I sighed and plopped down in one of the couches in the lobby.

"How could you forget to book rooms?" I asked James, who had sat down next to me.

"I don't know, it's stupid. I'm so damn tired, too," he replied. I looked over at him. His hair was pushed out of his face, and wavy because of the heat. He had bags under his eyes, and you could tell he was exhausted. I probably looked the same.

I watched across the room as our manager argued with the front desk person. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but by our manager's expression, it wasn't good news.

When she walked over, she explained to us that she could only book one room for all four of us, and that we would have to share the two king beds.

"That's fine," James said, "As long as I get to sleep."

"I don't mind, I'm about to pass out from lack of sleep," I added.

"I call sleeping with Carlos though," James said. "He snores the least," he added, looking over at me. I smiled and looked down, feeling my face heat up.

We all walked up to our room, and Kendall unlocked the door and stepped in. We followed after, and stopped short.

"You have got to be kidding me," Logan said.

We looked at the two twin beds pushed together.

"What the hell?" Kendall said.

After much debate, we decided to separate the beds and try our best to go to sleep. James laid down first. He took up the whole bed without even trying. I took off my pants and realized I had forgotten my pajamas in the car, with my other suitcase.

"James, do you mind if I sleep in my boxers? I forgot my shorts."

"Mhmmm, it's fine," he said into the pillow. I changed shirts and walked over to the bed.

"Move over man," I said, yawning. He turned on his side, and moved over a little. I looked at the impossibly tiny space that he made. Well this is going to be great.

After arguing about the blanket, Kendall and Logan finally shut up. I laid down with my back against James' back. I could feel the warmth of his skin, the vibrations his snoring sent through his body. We both had our legs pulled up, and I could feel his ass against mine. It kind of turned me on. I tried to clear my head and fall asleep, but all I could think about was James' ass.

I stayed still as James jerked awake, and rolled onto his back. He tried pushing me over, but I pushed back, mumbling. He rolled onto his left side, and I could feel his breath against the back of my neck. I got goosebumps along my neck and back, and I started shivering. James pulled the blanket over me, then put his arm over my body. My semi turned into a full on boner, but I still pretended to be asleep. I was getting hot under James' arm, but I wasn't about to move it.

I don't remember drifting off, but suddenly I was dreaming.

"_Mmmm, baby…" I heard him say, panting softly._

_I looked around for him, spinning in a hundred directions. I couldn't find him anywhere._

"_Follow me…follow my voice baby"_

_I ran, trying to find him. Where are you? I wanted to shout. I couldn't speak. I started to cry. _

"_Right here…I'm right here." I looked up and saw James. He was shirtless, and only had on boxers._

_He hugged me and I cried harder. "I couldn't find you…"_

"_I know, but I'm here now," he pulled me back and looked at my face. Then he kissed me. I pushed against his lips, feeling the perfect curve of them. I moved my lips with his, running my hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled me against his body, rubbing me all over. I started breathing heavily, pushing up against him._

"_Carlos…Carlos…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Carlos…Carlos!"_

I jerked awake. I looked up to see Logan standing over me. I shut my eyes and willed the images to come back.

"Carlos man, wake up. And wake up James. He's a rock."

I turned and looked over my shoulder at James. He laid on his stomach, his face turned toward me. As I sat up, I felt his hand slide off my back. I stared at him, his peaceful face. His eyebrows pushed together, and he started scowling. Was he dreaming? Or just waking up?

I got off the bed and pulled my pants from yesterday on. I put on a t-shirt and walked over to the bed. I pushed at James' shoulder, but that did nothing. I ended up jumping on the bed yelling at James to get up. I jumped and landed with one foot on either side of his body. I leaned down over his face. He glared up at me.

"Wake up!" I stage-whispered.

"I'm up," he said, grumbling. He closed his eyes again.

I dropped down onto my knees so that I was straddling him. "Are you really up?" I asked.

He looked at me and said, "No. Now let me sleep."

"I can't do that, sorry," I said, and starting tapping his cheeks. Every tap I said 'get' then 'up'. He just kept his eyes closed so I got off of him, and walked into the bathroom. Logan was on the toilet, and Kendall was finishing up shaving.

"I can't get him up," I reported, moving towards the sink.

"I'll try," Kendall said, throwing his brush into his bag and walking out.

I went to the sink and started brushing my teeth. Logan and I started talking about how cramped we were, from sharing beds, when we heard Kendall swear and a thud. I walked out to see Kendall rubbing his arm, and James getting up from the floor.

"Wha happen?" I asked, my toothbrush still in my mouth.

"He punched me so I pulled him off the bed," Kendall replied.

"Ugh, why can't you guys let me sleep?" James asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes.

"Because we gotta go soon, man. Now, c'mon get up and get ready."


	3. Baby, I'm counting on you

**Chapter 3: Baby, I'm counting on you**

When we were all ready, we headed out to breakfast. We had one small concert to do around 2, then we had to go get prepared for the TV show.

"Man, I can't wait until we start filming again," Logan said.

"I know, it's gonna be great," Kendall added.

"About 2 more weeks! I can't wait either. I'm so pumped," I said. I looked over at James, who was eating his pancakes in silence. I nudged him with my foot but he didn't look up. I decided to leave him be, until I could talk to him in private.

When everyone was almost finished, I pulled James outside with me.

"James man, what's up? Is something wrong?"

"No. I don't want to talk about it."

My face fell. I guess James really doesn't have feelings for me, if he won't even talk to me. I felt stupid for even thinking that he did.

I turned to go back inside, when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Wait," he whispered.

I looked up at him. He had a pained expression on his face. I waited patiently.

"I just…I'm kinda hurting right now. Obviously because of Brooke, but…there's someone else."

I decided that I could help him through his relationship problems. Don't people deal with this everyday? You fall in love with your best friend and end up giving them love advice.

"Someone else, as in someone you like?" I asked.

"Well yeah…" He said, dropping his gaze. He blushed and my heart yearned for him to be blushing because of me.

"Who is it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

He looked down at me, saying, "That's the problem."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if they like me back," he admitted.

"Well it's not that hard to find out. Just ask them. Be honest."

"Yeah, okay."

I got him to meet my eyes and said, "Wait until the moment is right, and ask them. Admit that you have feelings for them, and ask them how they feel about you. If they turn you down, my shoulder is always open to cry on." I tried to smile for him.

"Thanks man." He pulled me in for a hug, and I tried to savor it.

"Course." I whispered.

We went back to the hotel to get ready for the concert. Packing away all the equipment, I heard James on the phone, arguing. I thought about asking him about it, but decided he would tell me if he wanted to.

On our way to the venue, James was texting furiously the whole ride. I was desperately curious as to what was going on, but I wasn't going to push him. Once we got there, James went inside right away, and I followed after him, claiming to have to use the bathroom.

I met up with him in the bathroom, with his phone finally away.

"Hey," I said.

"Sup."

"Nothing…I couldn't help but notice your bad mood."

He sighed and said, "It's not my fault. Brooke's being difficult."

"Wow, that sucks. Why can't you just cut her off?"

"She won't listen to me! And she won't stop calling me or texting me. It's so damn annoying."

Just now, I heard his phone go off. Damn, she's annoying.

"Want me to talk to her?"

He hesitated, then said, "Sure. Give it a shot."

He tossed me his phone and I answered the incoming call.

"Hello?"

"James?"

"No, this is Carlos."

"Where's James? Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

"Why are you calling me?"

I sighed. This girl.

"You called him. Listen, why do you keep bugging him? He has a show to do soon."

"I know, but he's not doing it now, is he?" She snapped.

"No, he isn't. But he needs to get ready. And that's hard to do if his ex-girlfriend wont leave him alone for 5 seconds."

James raised his eyebrows.

"I just want to talk to him-"

"No, you want to annoy him, don't you? Cause that's what you're doing. Now, listen to me. Don't call him again until tomorrow. Don't text him, don't e-mail him, don't even tweet him. He's busy, doing his job. And what are you doing? Sitting there, distracting him. He needs to focus. And he can't do that with his phone going off because some desperate girl wants to shack up with him."

James stood there with his mouth open. There was silence on the other end. I hung up stepped up to him. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I can't believe you said that!"

"I meant it, too. She's annoying as hell," I said, sliding his phone into his pocket.

"Yeah, I'm definitely done with her," He said. I started to walk away, but he said," Listen Carlos…something I've been meaning to ask you."

I stopped and turned back around. My heart started beating faster, but I ignored it.

"Yes?"

"About our talk earlier… i-it's kinda weird. I don't even want to say it."

"C'mon, you know you can talk to me. I won't judge you, no matter what."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was talking about you."

I blinked. Was I hearing right? Did James just say that he has feelings for me?

"See, I told you it was weird. And you don't even have to say anything about it because I know you don't feel the same, but I hope it doesn't get awkward for you because you know now but-"

"James hush."

He looked over at me. "Why?"

"Because. I have feelings for you, too. I was too afraid to tell you."

"Carlos…" James whispered.

"It's true. I like you, James. Ever since I first saw you, I knew you were special," I said, moving towards him. "I knew we were going to click, but I also felt something. Everything you do, it makes me crazy. Sleeping with you last night was really hard." I added.

He put his arms on my shoulders. "I know. Why do you think I wanted to sleep with you?" He asked, winking at me.

"You tease."

He smiled, and I looked at his lips. I leaned forward, going on my toes. My arms wrapped around him, and he pulled my face to his. He pressed his lips softly to mine, and I pushed back, harder. He pulled back and smiled at me.

"I've been wanting to do that for so long."


	4. Hey baby, you drive me crazy

**Chapter 4: Hey baby, you drive me crazy**

We left the bathroom and went to set up on stage. Every moment, I found myself glancing over at James. I found him looking back at me often, and every time my eyes met his and he gave me his timid smile, felt magical.

About an hour later, we were chilling in the dressing room while the fans began coming in. A no profit team came in and asked for an interview, and we decided to go ahead with it.

"So," the interviewer started once they were prepared. "How's everyone doing?"

"Good."

"Good."

"_Great_." James said. I looked up at him, and he was staring down at me, smiling. I blushed and looked back to the interviewer, whose name was Jim.

"Okay, good," Jim said. "Now, I've got a few fan questions, only about 5, then I'll let you guys go. First question, James. Have you ever gone skinny dipping or streaking?"

We all laughed, and looked to James for his answer.

"I can honestly say, I have not gone skinny dipping or streaking, but I _want_ to. Is that weird?"

"Yes, it is," I told him. He laughed and punched my shoulder.

"Maybe we can do it together sometime," he replied to me.

"It's a date." I said.

Kendall and Logan laughed, and I wondered if James would take me up on that offer. I would love to see him naked.

"Okay, interesting. Next one is for Carlos." Jim said.

"Well, after that question I'm a little nervous."

"Eh, it's not too bad. If one of the members of the band turned into a girl, would you date them?"

What the hell kind of question is that? I thought about saying Logan, but changed my mind.

"I would definitely date James. I mean, I've seen him in a dress, and he didn't look too bad."

James laughed and slapped me on the back, "Thanks buddy."

After the interview was over, we took the stage. I looked out and saw hundreds of fans, cameras started clicking, and girls started screaming. It put a smile on my face, knowing they were here to see us.

We didn't have a lot of time, so we only did a few songs. We squeezed in time for a "worldwide" girl, but mind was off in another world. A world where James and I were alone. I kept replaying in my mind what went down in the bathroom, what he said to me. It was surreal; he actually has feelings for me. It was like all my very best dreams coming true, hearing him say that.

I wondered where we were going to go from here. Okay, so we accepted the fact that we like each other. Now what? I wasn't ready to go full gay, and I doubt he was either. Do we have a relationship or just keep it close friends? So many questions, but I never got the time to ask them.

Right after the concert, we went back to the dressing room and got ready to go backstage for the meet and greet. When Kendall and Logan were occupied, James grabbed me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "You're so hot when you're sweaty."

His voice turned me on instantly, and I ached to kiss him. I glanced over his shoulder, and saw Kendall and Logan leave the room. The door closed, and I took my chance. I quickly reached up and pressed my lips to his. He deepened the kiss, putting his hands on either side of my face. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing him to me. His fingers ran through my hair, and I slipped my hands up his shirt, feeling his abs, then sliding around to his back. I ran my hands up and down his back, his slick skin turning me on even more.

He pulled away, and kissed me gently on the lips once more. "We'll finish up later," he whispered.

I smiled and kissed him again. Then we separated and he hung his arm around my shoulder, walking out to the meet and greet.

A few hours later, we headed back to the hotel for the last time. When we got there, our manager told us she managed to get 2 separate rooms for us, but there was only one bed in each and we would have to share.

"I definitely want James or Carlos this time, Kendall snores like a bitch," Logan complained.

"Well you hog the covers!" Kendall counteracted.

"Only because I know you'll pull them off if I don't get them first!"

"Guys, guys. I know you both want me, you don't have to fight." James said jokingly.

"I'd rather take Carlos," Logan said.

"Take me?" I asked.

"You know what I mean!" Logan replied, with everyone laughing at that.

"Yeah, well too bad. You and Kendall will have to get over it, because I'm going to be sleeping with James again." I told Logan.

"That's not fair!"

"Yes, it is. He liked me better," I teased.

"It's true," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder. Every touch of his made me want to throw him against a wall and make out with him. It was very inappropriate thinking with Kendall and Logan right there.

"Fine, but you wake me up by snoring and so help me…" Logan said, walking away to their new room.

James and I walked up to the 5th floor of the hotel, taking the stairs. It was hard to do with 3 suitcases each, but we both managed.

As we entered our room, it wasn't much better than the other one. Instead of two twin beds pushed together, it was a queen sized bed.

"Looks like we'll have to do something to keep us entertained," James said, pointing out the lack of TV or computer.

"Oh, I can think of a few things." I told him.

He walked slowly toward me, while I pretended to be reeling him in. He put his hands on either side of my face, and looked down at me.

"You're beautiful," he said.

I blushed and ran my fingers through his hair, still damp from sweat. I put my arms around his waist and hugged him to me.

"Want to take a shower together?" I asked him.

He raised his eyebrows and said, "Sure. This should be interesting."

And it was. It wasn't a big shower, so we were constantly bumping into each other, which wasn't too much of a bad thing. I got to see James naked though, and I will say one thing about that. Wow.

When we were both clean, James pulled me right up against him. It was an amazing feeling, having James' skin in contact with mine, wet and slippery. I ran my hands across his chest again, moving them downwards. He massaged my shoulders, and I rolled my head back, sighing. I was exhausted. And this shower was making me sleepy.

I opened my eyes and James kissed my jawline, moving back to my ear and nibbling on it. I did a weird little squeal. I never had anyone nibble on my ear, and it felt wonderful. I moved my hands to his back, pulling him closer to me. He kissed my neck, working his way down to my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his wet hair, as he slowly kissed back up. He got to my mouth and I pushed my lips against his, eager to finally kiss him again. I pushed him up against the wall, the shower head beating down on my back.

We made out for a while, until the water ran cold. I stepped out of the shower shivering, grabbing a big towel. I walked out to our room, and sat down on the bed.

"Don't get the bed wet," James complained, pulling me up. "And there's only one towel, share with me."

I laughed and pulled the towel around him, so it wrapped around the both of us. We started kissing again, and kept losing balance due to being so close together. We eventually dried off, then got dressed in boxers and T-shirts.

I laid down in bed, pulling the blanket over me. I was still shivering, so I said, "James, come and warm me up. I'm freezing."

"Hold on, I'm almost done," he said, tapping his phone.

"Who are you texting?" I asked him.

"Twitter," he said. "Don't worry, I blocked Brooke. She won't be contacting me again."

"Good," I replied. "What did you tweet?" I asked as he made his way over.

"That this was one of the best days ever." He said, sliding in next to me. I wrapped my arms around him, laying my head on his chest.

"You're the best," I whispered to him. He lifted my chin and up kissed me. I kissed him back, rougher. He adjusted quickly, pulling me on top of him, putting his hands on my back to push me into him more. I started grinding into him, our kisses getting sloppier. I quickly became hot, and pulled my shirt off. I took his off next, and he pulled me back to him, kissing me again.

I wondered how far we would go, as he began rubbing my ass, squeezing my cheeks every now and then. I pushed into him harder, making him moan. Hearing James moan was the sexiest thing I've ever heard, so I started rubbing him through his boxers, hoping to get the same reaction. He pushed his hips up against my hand, so I pulled it out, and gave him a hj.

He came quickly, then rolled over so that he hovered over me. He did the same thing I did to him, but I moaned way more than he did. I came moaning out his name, which he apparently enjoyed.

After we were both cleaned up, we finally just laid in bed. James leaned over and gave me a very sweet kiss goodnight. I hugged him, laying my head on his chest again. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly, dreaming about James and this perfect night.


	5. I guess these moments fade away

**Chapter 5: I guess these moments fade away**

_I woke up in a dark room. I tried to move my hands, but there was something holding me back. I looked down and saw that my arms and legs were tied together. I looked back up to a window in front of me, and I saw James in it. I screamed at him, telling him to come to me, to untie me. He just stared at me, a vacant expression on his face. I started crying, pulling against the rope, yelling at James. Why wouldn't he come to me?_

"_Carlos." I finally heard him say my name. But the James in front of me didn't speak._

"_Carlos!"_

I jerked up, suddenly wide awake. I stared in front of me, breathing hard. Only after a few seconds was I aware of James sitting up next to me. I turned and hugged him, still crying.

"Oh James," I mumbled into his shirt.

"What's wrong, Carlos?" He asked me, stroking my head.

"It was a nightmare. I was tied up and you wouldn't help me. I kept calling you but you just stood there. You wouldn't come to me." I said, my voice getting higher and more desperate.

"Sh, shh. Calm down. You're alright, I'm here for you." He said, hugging me tightly.

I took deep breaths, and hiccupped once. I sniffed and pulled away, wiping at my eyes.

"Better?" he asked me.

I nodded and lay back down. "What time is it?" I asked, yawning.

He looked at the alarm clock and said, "Almost 7. Our flight leaves at 9:30. We should get up."

Just as he said the last part, both of our phones chirped from across the room. We got up and checked them, looking at the same text from Logan: 'Hey guys wake up we're leaving soon'.

I yawned again, and went into the bathroom.

James followed me in, getting ready to wash his face.

"Last night…" he started. "It was amazing."

"I know," I replied. "I was there." I said, smiling.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and stared into my eyes. I reached up and put my hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer to me. He smiled and kissed my lips softly. He moved his hands up, and I squirmed away, giggling.

"What's so funny?" he asked, reaching his arms out for me.

I walked into his embrace, hugging him back. "I'm ticklish," I replied.

I saw him slowly smile. I glared up at him. "Don't you dare."

He suddenly started tickling me all over, trapping me against the wall. "James, c'mon stop! Stop! James!" I begged him. I started to get the hiccups from laughing so hard, and he still didn't stop. I punched his arms, scratched him, and even tried to bite him. "James man, _please_ stop!"

"Okay, okay," he said, backing up and giving me space. I hiccupped again, then stood there, catching my breath. I glared up at him, and he started laughing.

"Sorry! I couldn't resist." He said, pulling me close again. "You're so cute when you're helpless," he said, leaning down to whisper in my ear. I pushed him away, and used the toilet. He stared at me the whole time. When I was done, I looked over at him and said, "Enjoy the view?"

"I did actually. It was very nice."

I smirked and walked out, going to my suitcase to get changed. I was sorting through shirts when James came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He placed his head on my shoulder, and turned to whisper in my ear, "I'm sorry for tickling you." He softly kissed my neck, working his way down to my collar bone. I leaned into him, his kisses making my head swarm. I mumbled something, closing my eyes while he started kissing back up. I reached behind me and touched the back of his head, my fingers running through his soft hair. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?" he breathed into my ear. I nodded.

He backed away and turned me to face him. I reached up and pulled his face to mine, kissing him feverishly. I felt him smile, and he wrapped his arms around me. I ran my hands down his chest, going up under his shirt. Before we could really start anything, a knock on the door interrupted us.

James sighed and I laughed and went to open the door, revealing Kendall and Logan outside. They had all their luggage with them and gave us disapproving looks when they saw that we weren't even dressed yet.

"Come on! We're going to be late. What have you guys been doing?" Kendall asked.

I looked over to James and he raised his eyebrows and smirked at me. I winked back, and turned to get dressed.

Once James and I were packed and ready to go, we walked down to the lobby to meet up with everyone. After checking out, we went to the airport to take a plane to New Jersey. The whole drive there, James was driving me crazy. We were in the backseat together, me in the middle with Logan on the other side. Kendall was up front with our manager. James' hand kept creeping up on my leg, squeezing it, tapping it, basically doing anything he can to aggravate me, all the while staring out the window like nothing was going on. Logan didn't seem to notice, but I was on edge the whole ride.

The flight was going to be a long one, and I couldn't even sit next to James the whole time. We boarded, and I patted James on the back as he kept going down the aisle to his seat. I sat down right away, glad for a window seat. Dustin sat in the middle seat and Logan on his other side. Right away, Logan got out his laptop, and Dustin pulled out his phone. I just sat there. My laptop broke last week, and I had no one to text.

I took my phone out anyway while we were taking off even though it was low battery, tweeting out that we were headed to Jersey. Just as I hit tweet, I got a text from James.

'Hey' it read.

I smiled and replied 'whats up? sucks that we cant sit together'

He replied almost instantly. He was a really fast texter. 'Yeah but we can still have fun'

'what do you mean?'

He took so long to reply that I looked back, and saw him talking to Kendall. After a few minutes, I finally got a reply.

'Sorry. Kendall talks a lot. and I think you know what I mean ;)'

'I think I do too… how about you start'

'Okay, ill set up a situation. You n me are in a hot tub, naked.'

'No ones around?'

'Nope.'

'I'd slowly move toward you, having eye sex before grabbing u and kissing u'

'Id pull you on top of me, wrapping my arms around ur back, pushing u into me'

'I'd ran my hands down your chest, making my way to your dick'

'Would you pump me baby?'

'You horny bastard'

'You know it. So would you?'

'You know I'd love to but my damn phone is about to die. How about we finish up later?'

'Fuck you…leaving me with this boner.'

'Ask kendall to rub one out for you ;)'

'hahahaha, shut up'

'ttyl 3'

'k, xoxo :)'

I smiled at his last text, then my phone died, the screen fading to black. I sighed and looked out the window, even though it was just clouds. That got really uninteresting really fast.

"Logan, can I please use your laptop? I'm bored as hell." I asked.

"No way, I gotta have something to do." He responded.

"But you have your phone! Mine just died. Please." I begged him.

He sighed, "Alright, but give me 5 more minutes."

5 minutes turned into 10 which turned into 15. I started banging my head against the seat in front of me out of frustration and boredom, until the guy turned around and gave me the evil eye. I apologized, and got up to use the bathroom.

Passing by James, I tousled his hair and he swatted at me. I dodged away and walked into the incredibly tiny space. I didn't really have to go, but I did anyway. I opened the door and found James standing there. He smiled at me, and I glanced toward the seats and saw no one looking back. I quickly grabbed him and planted a kiss. He embraced me, trying to deepen the kiss, but I pulled away.

"Too risky," I whispered to him.

He rolled his eyes, and stepped toward the bathroom. Before he walked in, he slapped my ass. I smirked at him, and went back to my seat.

I eventually got Logan's laptop, after another half hour. I went on twitter and responded to fans for a while, but then his laptop died. He and Logan still had their phones and I was stuck with nothing. I laid my head against the window, the steady vibration making me close my eyes. I tried thinking about the upcoming concert, the movie we're filming next month, even about my dogs back home, but nothing could hold my attention for long enough. Every thought had James in it. I just couldn't get him out of my head. I pictured me walking and finding a trail of flower petals. They would lead me into a room with a small table in the middle, red table cloth, candles in the center, wine glasses to the side. James would walk up to me in a suit, red rose in his hand. He would hand it to me, inviting me to dine with him. I would sit with him, pour champagne….

"Carlos, wake up!" I heard someone yell. I opened my eyes and saw Logan standing over me. I sat up and looked around me. Everyone was standing up, and getting their luggage out of the overhead compartments.

"Whoa, I slept the whole flight?" I asked, but he was already turning away, heading down the aisle to the exit door. I pulled my bag out and looked behind me, but James wasn't there. I glanced all around, but couldn't find him. Why would he leave me?

I was the last one off the plane, and spotted Kendall, Dustin, and Logan across the terminal at the gift shop. I walked over to them, but James wasn't with them.

"Hey, where's James?" I asked.

"I don't know, he ran off the plane as soon as they opened the doors." Kendall told me.

"Probably running to Brooke to _get it on_!" Logan joked, winking at me.

"Brooke?" I asked.

"Yeah, she lives around here. They were planning to meet up before their fight. Maybe they made up. Either way, we gotta get going. The show starts at 5."

They all gathered and walked out. I trailed behind them. James went to meet up with Brooke? But I thought they were over, done for good. Or was he just lying to me?


	6. Shot in the dark to be where you are

**Chapter 6: Take a shot in the dark to be where you are**

I stepped out of the airport, the wind hitting my face and the sun in my eyes. I glanced around quickly for James, but didn't see him. I followed the guys to our cabs, but didn't get in right away. Instead, I stood by the door and waited to see if James would come running out, excuses ready. As the minutes passed, I got angrier. How could he do this to me? I felt my eyes tear up out of frustration and I ducked into the cab, not wanting anyone to see me.

After about 5 minutes, everyone else climbed in, and the door shut. One of the guys told the driver where to take us, and we were off. I rested my head against the window, staring at the scenery passing us by. I tuned out the mindless chatter that filled the cab, not bothering to participate. I closed my eyes, trying not to think of James, when I heard his name spoken by one of the guys. I listened more carefully to what they were saying.

"Yeah, and I wonder who he's going to give them to. They look expensive as hell," Kendall said.

"Some random girl at the show? He's thoughtful like that." Logan added.

I sat up, and looked at them. "Who?" I asked. They seemed slightly shocked by my sudden enthusiasm.

"James," Kendall said after a moment of silence. "He has a whole bunch of white roses."

"You saw James? When?" I demanded.

"Just before we took off. He ran to the last cab and got in with Dustin."

I sat back, stunned. James spent all that time getting roses? I felt ashamed by my anger at him. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't lie to me. Even if it were for my own good. As Logan and Kendall complained about my weirdness, I stared out the window smiling, waiting anxiously to see and talk to James.

Thankfully I didn't have long to wait; we pulled up to the venue a couple minutes later, driving down a long stretch of road. As soon as the car stopped moving, I was opening the door and running to James' cab. He took his time getting out, while I waited, hopping up and down. He walked to the back of the car before raising his eyes and seeing me. A large smile lit up his face, and I couldn't help but smile back. I started to say something, but someone slapped me on the back, stopping me.

Kendall came into view, his hand still on my shoulder. "James! Good to see you. Carlos here apparently couldn't wait to see you, either. It was quite strange," he mused, raising a bushy eyebrow at me.

"Shut up, Kendall-" I started to say, but James cut me off.

"Actually, he was just waiting to receive these beautiful flowers from me." He said. I looked at him, wary. Where was he going with this?

"For him? From you?" Kendall asked, clearly confused.

"Well, yeah. Who else would I give them to?" James replied.

"I don't know, a girl?" Kendall said. "Since when does Carlos like roses?"

"Since when have I not liked roses?" I replied, smiling up at him.

He glanced at both our faces before backing up and turning away. I looked back at James, but he was still watching Kendall. I cleared my throat, but he held up his pointer finger at me, signaling me to wait. I sighed, and started tapping my foot, impatient. I looked at Kendall to see what was so interesting, but all I saw was him leaning down to talk to Logan.

"What?" I finally asked James. He looked at me, smiling slightly.

"I'll tell you about it later," he said. "Now, I believe I have something to give you." He extended his arm and handed me the roses. I let him slide them into my arms and I picked up the little piece of paper attached to the bundle.

_Carlos_, it read. _These are for you. Keep the fake one for you, and give the real ones to every guy fan you see at our concerts/meet and greets. Xoxo, JM._

I smiled up at him, and then looked down at the roses. I pulled out the fake one and placed it on top of the others. Little did he know, I planned on keeping this forever. No matter what.

I stepped toward him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He chuckled and put his arms around my shoulders, pushing my head into his chest. We stayed like that for a moment, and I closed my eyes to the steady drum of his heartbeat.

"Why guy fans?" I asked him when our hug was over.

"Because, they never get any credit, it always goes to the girls." He told me.

"That's so true." I replied. He gestured to the door of the venue. "Shall we?" he asked.

"We shall." I replied, grabbing my bag and leading the way. We entered the building and caught up to the rest of the crew, who were being given a tour by a guide.

"What we're in right now is the main lobby. The stage is through those double doors, and those doors on the right," she said, pointing to the wall behind us, "is where you'll be having your meet and greets. You can enter backstage by following our security guards. Enjoy and have fun!"

Everyone started talking but we were interrupted by our manager. "Now, you guys are going to be doing the VIP meet and greet in an hour right before the concert. You'll have approximately 3-5 minutes with each fan, and you'll only have one hour to do all of them. I know you guys like to linger, but we'll need to speed this one up. After the concert, you'll have as much time as you want for the remaining meet and greets. Any questions?" she asked. We all shook our heads, so we followed the security guards backstage.

After being instructed to do our vocal warm-ups and get changed, we all went to the dressing rooms. I pulled James into mine and shut the door. I turned around and saw him frowning at his phone.

"What's wrong?" I asked, walking over to look at the screen. I saw a text message but couldn't make it out before he exited the screen. I looked up at him, but his face was guarded. "James?"

He didn't answer me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head on his chest, like before. "Please tell me," I whispered. "You should know that you can tell me anything. And everything. I wish that you did…" I trailed off, listening to his steady breathing. He sighed and finally put his arms around me. He placed his cheek on my head. "It's just girl troubles." He told me.

"Brooke?" I asked him, pulling my head away to look at his face.

"No," he assured me. "We're done with her. It's another one of my exes, making me look bad by saying that I promised to send her a free copy of our CD, when I didn't."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "Well why didn't you just tell me?" I asked him.

"Because, it seems pointless. You shouldn't have to worry about stupid crap like that." He told me.

"But I want to. I want to be there for you. I can help you get through it and all that sappy stuff," I said, smiling up at him. He smiled back and kissed me briefly. I grabbed his head, lengthening the kiss by not letting him pull away. He started to tickle me, which secretly turned me on, but I just giggled and tried to escape, but he was holding me back now.

I smiled to myself, taking a minute to appreciate these moments between us. Then, all too soon, someone knocked on the door. I stayed where I was while James walked over and opened it. It was our manager, telling us to hurry up and change so that we could do soundcheck.

"And how come both of you are in here? There's more than enough dressing rooms." She said.

James smiled at her and said, "We know." She stared at him, then turned and walked away. I laughed as James closed the door again. We both got changed and hurried to get to the stage.

We rehearsed and soundchecked for 40 minutes, then we had to get to the meet and greet room. I ran to the dressing room and grabbed the roses, arriving just before they let the fans in.

There were about 20 VIP fans, and only 2 of them were guys. I gave them each a rose, and they were a little confused but accepted it graciously.

"I don't think I'll be able to give all these roses away," I told James as we went backstage to get ready for the concert.

"That's okay, just keep the ones that are left over." He replied.

After the concert and meet and greet, I had 3 roses left and a date with James to look forward to. At least I think I did. He told me in the dressing room after the concert that I should clear my schedule for tonight, so I'm guessing he has something planned. Damn you James for being so romantic.

We decided to stay at a hotel close by, much to James' enthusiasm. I wondered what the hell was so special about that certain hotel, but it was probably something weird.

We arrived at the hotel and James announced that he would book the rooms. No doubt he would "accidentally" book us together in the same room. I thought about James and I, and what everyone else would think if we told them about us. But what would we say? That we're experimenting? I honestly had no idea.

James walked over and handed everyone their room keys. It was late, so they all went right to their rooms. "Want to watch a movie?" I asked James as he picked up his suitcase and started toward the stairs. "Sure. But afterwards, I have something a little more fun in mind." I looked at him, confused, but he didn't say anymore on the topic.

We walked into the room and put our bags down. I noticed that it was a very nice room, with petals on the bed and champagne on a table. I raised my eyebrows at James.

"What?" he asked, laughing at my face.

"Is this the honeymoon suite?" I asked him. He didn't respond, just smiled and slowly walked toward me. I smiled at him and reached up for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist, working them under my shirt and then slowly up. I put my arms around his shoulders, running my fingers through his hair. We kissed slowly, dragging out the movements of our lips. He pulled my hips against him, and I squeezed him tighter to me. He moved his lips to my jaw line, kissing everywhere and working down my neck. I grasped his hair tighter and pushed his head onto me more. He chuckled and pulled away. I frowned at him, wanting more.

"James…I- I think I want to try out some other things." I told, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Like what?" he asked. I sighed, not wanting to answer the question directly. Instead, I grabbed his belt buckle, slowly undoing it. I didn't look up at his face as I continued, unbuttoning his pants and slowly sliding the zipper down. I tugged his pants down a little, then touched the waistband of his boxers. He touched my hand, pausing to take off his shirt. I finally looked at his face and he winked at me, then reached over and slid my shirt off as well.

I continued where I left off, stroking him through his boxers. I looked at his face and he had his head turned up, an expression of pleasure on his face. I continued for a little, not wanting to rush things this time, but not wanting to torture him either.

He suddenly grabbed my waist and started pulling me toward the bed. He sat down, and I straddled him. His arms automatically went around my waist, and mine around his shoulders. I massaged them as we started kissing, but stopped and wound my fingers through his hair again as he pushed me into him. I started to grind him, as our kisses got sloppier and more heated. He pulled away and started to undo my pants. I watched as he pulled my cock out and slowly stroked it. I moaned, loving the feeling of him pumping me. I reached around his arms and pulled down his boxers, exposing his hard-on. I started to pump him, and he was moaning along with me. He both came at the same time, moaning out each other's names, and making a mess on our clothes.

He went into the bathroom and cleaned up. Then James smiled at me and I knew something was up.

"What?" I asked him.

"Put on your swim trunks and shoes and come with me." He replied. I was confused as hell, but decided to go along with it. When we were ready, he grabbed the room key and lead the way out.

We walked quietly through the halls, leaving the hotel through a back door that I didn't even know existed. Behind the hotel was a pool and a hot tub, but James ignored them and kept walking. It looked like he was headed for the woods behind the tall gate that enclosed the pool area, and I started to get worried. I grabbed James' hand and he smiled down at me. That reassured me a little.

He scanned the room key and opened the gate, closing it gently behind us when we were through. I finally decided to break the silence.

"James? How come we're in the woods? I didn't even know Jersey had woods. And why did the gate need a room key?" I asked him.

"We're in the woods for a surprise," he said, pausing to turn toward me. "And don't worry about anything, the hotel owns this part of the woods. That's why we needed the room key to get through the gate."

I nodded, and kept his hand in mine as we walked deeper into the woods. We entered a clearing, and in front of us was a dark pool of water. It was an actual pool, with lights dim and jets slowly churning the water. James and I got ready and stepped in slowly. To my surprise, the water was warm. I walked in more, pulling James along with me. We stopped in the middle of the pool, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. He smiled at me and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed his neck. "This is wonderful," I whispered to him.

We spent a while in that pool, our private little piece of paradise. Our making out got steamy and we both ended up naked. I was glad that I finally got to live my dream of skinny dipping with James, though.

When we were both tired and worn out, we dried off and headed back to the hotel. We entered the room and changed quickly. I climbed into bed, shivering. James got in soon after, and I hugged him tight.

"Today was perfect," I told him. "Thank you so much."

He smiled and said, "You're welcome. I…I really like spending time with you."

I smiled back and placed my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and was asleep almost instantly, listening to James' heartbeat.


	7. Cause you know that things get so bad

**Chapter 7: Cause you know that things get so bad**

I awoke slowly, listening to the breathing of James beside me. I turned my head to look at him. His face was peaceful, and he was snoring lightly. I smiled at him, then laid my head next to his and stroked his hair away from his face. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and looked at me. I stared back, wondering if his feelings from last night would return.

He smiled and a feeling of excitement washed through me. I smiled back at him, cupping his face with one hand. He gently removed my hand and got up.

"I have to pee really badly," he answered to my look of confusion.

I waited for him in bed, snuggling in the blanket to prevent the coldness from creeping in. When he returned, he saw me all bundled up and laughed.

"It's not funny, I'm freezing!" I told him. He slid in next to me and hugged me.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much." I replied. "Hey, what are we doing today?" I asked him. I always forgot the schedule, no matter how many times they told me.

He chuckled and replied, "Actually, we have the day off. Which is why you haven't heard anyone coming and waking us up. They're all still asleep, probably."

I thought about that. It's nice to have a day off, especially with James. But if we spent the whole day together again, what would the guys think? Even though they don't know how much time we've been spending with each other, they had to have noticed the change. Maybe they already have noticed and were just not saying anything. But, knowing them, they most definitely would say something. I really want to spend the day with James. I didn't care what we did, bowling, watching a movie, or even just going to the mall or something. As long as I was with James I was happy. I wondered if he felt the same way.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't know, lots of things." I replied.

"Why are you being so vague?" He put his hands on either side of my face and turned me toward him. "Tell me?" he whispered.

His voice was so irresistible the words tumbled out without my control. "I'm thinking about today. And what I'm going to do."

"Oh," he replied. "So what are you going to do?"

I pulled my face away from his freezing hands and wrapped myself more in the blanket.

"I don't know, that's what I was thinking about." I answered.

"Would you like to do something with me?" He asked. I smiled to myself.

"Of course I would," I replied. "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm, I don't know. I have a couple things I wanted to do."

"Like what?"

"Well, I really want to go mini-golfing. There's this awesome course downtown, it looks like so much fun!" he replied.

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Okay, sounds like fun. What else?"

"There's a go-kart track downtown, too." He said. "The guys were talking about setting up a big race."

"That sounds awesome!" I said. I love go-karting, even though I lose most of the time.

"Okay, so we can go mini-golfing, get lunch, then meet up with the guys for go-karting." He said.

"Sounds like a plan." I said, smiling. "There's only one bad thing." I told him.

"What's that?" he asked, his voice concerned.

"I have to get up." I groaned. He laughed and grabbed my hands. "Here, I'll help." He said, and yanked me out of bed. I flew forward, and landed in his arms.

"Jerk." I said, hitting his chest. I went to pull away, but he hugged me tighter. I struggled and tried to get free but he kept his hold. I slumped, feigning defeat and he loosened his grip. Taking my chance, I lunged away, slipping out of his hands.

"Nice move," he complimented me. I smiled at him, and went in for a normal hug. He hugged me back and kissed me lightly on the lips. I kissed back, deepening the kiss. I could spend all day kissing James. And I would if I had the chance.

After a while, we finally got dressed and left to grab a quick breakfast.

I've never been mini-golfing with James, so I was excited to go. We called a taxi and went to the lobby to wait.

The elevator doors opened and I saw Logan and Kendall standing by the doors. They were close together, heads leaned in. I wondered what they were talking about. As we approached them, Logan turned and noticed us.

"Hey guys." He said.

"Hey." James and I replied in unison. I imagined what Logan would say if James and I walked out hand in hand. He'd probably think we were joking at first.

"Oh hey look, Carlos and James are together, _again_." Kendall said.

"Shut up." I replied. James just smiled at him, not saying anything. I wondered what he was thinking.

"So what are your plans for today?" Logan asked, interrupting what Kendall was going to say.

I started to reply, but James cut me off. "We're going mini-golfing." He replied, simply. "And afterwards joining you guys for go-karting. Now, I believe our cab is here."

Kendall just raised his eyebrows and Logan watched us leave in silence.

"You could have lied. I said to James once we were in the cab.

"Why lie? There's no point." He replied.

"So they don't find out?"

"Find out what? Why do we have to hide things? I hate keeping secrets."

"What do you mean James? Tell them what's going on between us?" I asked.

"Listen," he said, leaning toward me. "Have you noticed how Logan and Kendall have been acting?"

I thought about that for a second while he stared at me.

"Not really, I've been more focused on you." I replied, truthfully.

"Well, try to pay more attention to them."

"What do you mean?" I asked, but he wouldn't say any more on the subject.

He lightened up once we got to the course, and for three hours we goofed off and had a good time. When we were finished actually golfing, we walked to a nearby diner for lunch.

"You wait until next time," he was telling me. "I'll get-"

He cut off, staring out the window. I turned to look and saw what made him stop.

Brooke was outside, glaring through the window at James.

"Shit." He said.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked.

"She lives here." He replied. I just stared at him. He sighed and started explaining. "Before I ended things, we planning to hang out and crap since she knew I was going to be here. I guess she's now looking for a chance to yell at me."

I looked to the front of the diner and saw her entering.

"Ugh," I sighed. I didn't want to deal with this. "Mind if I leave?" I asked as she made her way over. I started to get up but he held onto my arm.

"Yes I mind," he replied. "Please stay?" he asked, giving me the sad puppy face.

"Fine." I said, plopping back down and crossing my arms.

Brooke stepped up to our booth and sat down next to me. I slid away from her.

"What do you want?" James asked her calmly.

"What do I want?" she repeated. "How about an explanation? You just broke up with me for no reason and block me? What did I do?"

"Exactly what you're doing right now," he replied. "I told you a relationship with me is hard, and not just because I'm touring. I can't stand people who suffocate me and that's all you did. Why can't you just accept the fact that were done and leave me alone?"

I raised my eyebrows, impressed. I wasn't expecting him to tell her off and I was about to jump in and help but he didn't need it. I looked over at Brooke and saw a tear rolling down her cheek. Her face turned red and she pushed away from the table, storming out.

"Wow." I said, staring after her.

"I didn't mean to make her cry." He said, picking at his burger.

"She deserved it," I replied. "She's a bitch." He chuckled and pulled out his phone.

"We should get going, huh?" I asked him. He nodded and we paid the bill and left, calling another taxi to take us to the race track.

"You okay?" I asked when we were in the taxi.

"Yeah, I just wish we didn't have to deal with that." He replied.

I know it sounds lame, but I liked the way it sounded when he said 'we'. It made me feel closer to him, and I realized with satisfaction that I knew a lot more about James than the other guys.

"Don't worry, it's over and done with. Now," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "Let's go _crush_ the guys at go karts!"

He laughed and relieved the tension. We joked around and chatted until the cab pulled up to the race track.

We walked inside and spotted the guys. They were suiting up and Kendall was helping Logan with his zipper. James nudged me and looked at them pointedly. I frowned, confused, until I remembered that James told me to pay attention to them.

"Hey guys," James said as we approached them.

Kendall gasped and jumped away from Logan.

"Uh, hey." Logan said.

"So… what's up?" I asked them.

"Your guys' stuff is over there." Kendall said, pointing. I noticed with surprise that he was blushing.

James and I hurried to get dressed and ran to our cars while everyone was starting theirs up.

We made it in time and began the race.

We did ten laps and James and I were tied for first. The rest were behind us, with Logan and Kendall bringing up the rear, which was odd. Usually those two were speed demons, blowing past James and I within the first few laps. I watched them as we turned a corner and they didn't even look like they were trying. After a few more laps, I realized they were purposely trying to let each other win.

Suddenly, what James told me clicked into place. I froze, foot on the gas pedal, as I thought about it. Was Kendall and Logan like James and I? No, it was impossible. Or was it…

I was so deep in thought I didn't even realize that I had passed James. He came up really close on my tail but I couldn't see his face in my mirror. I stupidly turned around in my seat and flashed him a thumbs up. I saw his look of terror before I felt the impact.

It felt like my mind was under a shield. I could feel the hands on my body, but I couldn't move. I could hear people shouting, but I couldn't respond.

I managed to open my eyes for a few seconds, but what I saw was confusing.

A swarm of people surrounded me, but I was looking for a specific person. He stared at me with tears streaming down his face, trying to reach out to me but they were holding him back. I wanted to call out to him, I wanted to be in his arms and tell him everything would be okay.

Someone touched my arm and pain stabbed through me, all the way to my heart. Suddenly I could feel everything. My arm was stinging like a thousand bees were on it. My head felt like there was something hard constantly pushing against the front of it. I closed my eyes at the pain, and noticed my face was wet and hot. I tried to move, to get out of the sticky stuff that I was laying in.

Someone held me down though and I suddenly realized I was laying in blood. I stopped struggling and quickly fell unconscious.


	8. Love you when the lights come up

**Chapter 8: Baby I'm gonna love you when the lights come up**

**I'm sorry this chapter is short! I will update soon, but enjoy for now. Please review, it means so much to me! (:**

I woke up to the sound of murmured voices. It felt like everything inside me was chugging along slowly, almost refusing to process anything. I knew I was really drugged up because I couldn't feel a thing.

It was hard to resist the blackness threatening to pull me under, but I wanted to see James. I struggled to fully awake. It was challenging, but I managed to do it. It was ten times harder to find the will to open my eyes. I decided to give myself a rest and listened to the people around me.

"When is he going to wake up?" I heard someone ask. It sounded like Logan.

"The doctor said any time from this morning to tonight. It might take a while." I instantly recognized James' voice but it sounded odd, cracking in weird places. Was he hurt? I started to panic and finally opened my eyes.

Everything was blurry; it took a few seconds to focus. The conversation cut off and I heard a door softly close. I felt slight pressure on my hand and looked to my right to find James looking down at me. I tried to open my mouth to speak but couldn't find the strength. I started to get frustrated at myself for being so dumb before.

James put his finger on my lips.

"Shh, don't talk. Save your strength." He told me. I tried to nod but when I did it felt like a thousand needles stabbing through my head. I closed my eyes against the pain then concentrated. After a few moments I gently squeezed his hand.

He let out a breath I didn't know he was holding and I opened my eyes to him smiling. I managed to smile back and he leaned in slowly and very hesitantly kissed my nose, avoiding my bandaged forehead. I wondered how banged up I was.

I found my answer two days later, when I finally had enough strength to speak.

"You broke your left arm in two places and suffered extensive damage to your head." I got chills along my spine. The doctor paused, then continued. "Your brain was swelling significantly and we almost had to operate, but it eventually went down on its own. You got lucky. We'll see your progress tomorrow and decide if you're well enough to leave."

I nodded and he opened the door, letting everyone waiting inside. Kendall and Logan were carrying huge bags.

"What are those?" I asked. James came over and took my hand. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Letters and gifts." Kendall answered.

"For me?" I gasped.

"Well, yeah." He replied.

"How did they even find out where to send them?" I asked, still in shock. I was pleased to know our fans actually cared that much to send something.

"The go-kart place released what hospital you were sent to in the police report." James spoke up. "We asked them to disclose the information but I guess a few fans saw it before they did."

I squeezed his hand and he returned the pressure. I yearned to reach out to him, to be in his arms miles away, this whole mess behind us. I really just wanted to be alone with him, but that proved impossible as the guys stayed for hours, helping me open all the gifts and letters.

Around lunchtime, I decided to take charge.

"Guys," I said, everyone turning to look at me. "I really appreciate your company, but I'm starving, so I know you must be, too. Go get lunch and do something, I can't leave until tomorrow anyway."

They agreed and started filing out after quickly cleaning up. They didn't even bother to ask James to join them; they knew he wouldn't leave my side.

"Do they know?" I asked after the room was empty again.

He sighed and responded, "I'm pretty sure they have an inkling. But you know how strict Nick is. We won't be able to let anyone find out. I know we can trust the guys, but if it blows up we might get fired."

The weight of what he said hit me. I immediately felt depressed. "So even if we come out we can't fully come out? We'll have to keep everything a secret?" I asked.

"Don't stress about it. We have a while to figure this out." He said, stroking my hair. I gave him a look and he chuckled and leaned in for a kiss.

After he pulled away I asked another question. "Wait, so are Kendall and Logan..?"

He made a face and replied. "They're not sure what they're doing yet. But they definitely have feelings for each other." I gave him a confused look. "Logan told me one night. I wasn't sure if I should tell you so I just said to watch them and see if you notice. I guess you did."

"Yeah I did. Things just got a lot more complicated."

The next day the doctor said I was free to go. James helped me leave and I was slightly annoyed when I saw the paparazzi outside waiting. I was embarrassed also because the hospital makes you leave in a wheelchair and I could walk perfectly fine.

As the flashes went off, I climbed into the waiting taxi and waved to the cameras, flashing a fake smile. The cab took off and sighing, I leaned my head on James' shoulder. I really just wanted to go home but we had 2 more concerts to play. Luckily, we didn't have to cancel any shows and I got pills for my headaches so that I can perform.

James played with my hair and I started to fall asleep. The ride wasn't very long though, so he gently pushed me upright and climbed out when the taxi stopped. I followed him out and thanked the driver. We walked into the hotel and I went straight for the bed, laying down without undressing.

"I have to go to rehearsal with the guys in 20 minutes. Do you think you can go or do you feel too bad?" He asked me after a few moments.

I sighed and sat up. "I'll go. It's not like I'm disabled." I replied.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at the cast on my arm and the bandage still on my head.

"That doesn't count!" I told him, laughing.

He chuckled and came to sit next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me.

"You don't know how worried I was…" James whispered. I looked up at him questioningly.

"When I saw you crash. And then when they pulled you out of the car and you were unconscious. I was so scared." He continued, his voice cracking on the last word. I reached up and stroked his hair, telling him it was okay.

"They wouldn't let me go to you, Carlos. They held me back. I couldn't just look at you, laying there bleeding."

I noticed he was tearing up and I started comforting him.

"Oh James, it's okay." I murmured. I hugged him and he nestled his face into my neck. I patted his back as he calmed down. "I'm fine now, everything's fine." I said.

He pulled away and sniffed, rubbing his eyes.

"We should get going." He said. I nodded but stopped him before he could get up. He looked at me, confused. I giggled and leaned in, giving him a quick kiss. Then I hopped away and started to leave. He ran after me, causing me to squeal, which made him laugh. We looked into each others eyes and had a cheesy moment. He kissed me softly once more and I marveled at how glad I was to have things back to normal.


	9. All Over Again

**Chapter 9: All Over Again**

**Finally, right? Sorry this took so long. PLEASE review! (If you haven't noticed by now, each title of the chapters is lyrics from a BTR song.)**

We joined the guys in the lobby and went to rehearsal. I had to practice holding the microphone with a cast, and try to get over my dizzy spells. The doctor warned me to take it easy, but I couldn't let our fans down. I mean, sure we got along fine without Kendall that one time, but I hated to see the fans' disappointment when they realized they couldn't meet him. Greeting the fans is always the best part for me.

So I suffered through and I managed. I knew I'd be fine for the concert, but James was about to jump out of his skin from being so concerned.

"James, I'll be fine." I reassured him for the thousandth time.

"Carlos you say that one more time and so help me. Your doctor said to take it easy. Singing and jumping all around on stage is going to strain you and then you'll be even worse. You cannot perform tonight." He crossed his arms and leaned back, content with his argument.

I sighed and decided to play the innocent card. I looked up at him with my sad puppy dog look and said, "Don't you want me to sing with you, baby?" I ran my fingers down his arm, making him shiver. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I slid my hand down his chest, stopping at his belt. "Don't you want to _dance_ with me, sugar?" I asked and moved my hand down, rubbing him through his pants and causing him to moan out.

A door slammed and a voice suddenly rang out, "I do _not_ want to know what you guys are doing!" I turned around and saw Kendall standing in the doorway. There were a few moments of silence and then James spoke up, "Don't worry about it. Hey Kendall, don't you agree that Carlos shouldn't sing tonight? He's been feeling dizzy and you know the doctor told him to take it easy."

Kendall thought for a moment then answered, "Well I think he should sing. He did fine at rehearsal. But no dancing. He could just sit or something."

"But it'll ruin the effect if I'm not dancing-" I started, but James cut me off.

"Who the hell cares if you're not-"

"James, stop." Kendall interrupted. "Carlos, you can sing tonight, but no dancing. We're only doing three dancing songs anyway. The fans will understand, it's for your health. Now stop arguing." He walked out and we were alone again.

"Carlos, I wish you would just listen-"

"James, imagine if it was you. If I was telling _you_ to miss a concert. We both know you wouldn't even think about missing it. I'm not doing this to get back at you or purposely make you upset. _I_ want to do it. Doesn't it matter what I want?" I started to tear up and turned away.

He suddenly changed expression and pulled me in, hugging me tight. "Of course it does, Carlos," he whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry I'm being such a dick. I just don't want you getting hurt again, I won't be able to take it."

"I'll be fine, James." I mumbled into his shoulder. "I'm just really passionate about this, you know that."

"I do. Don't worry, we'll kill it tonight." He pulled away and flashed me his adorable smile. I smiled back and kissed him, glad to be over the argument.

A few hours later, we were heading to our dressing room, coming back from the concert. I barely managed to stay in my seat in the center of the stage the whole time. What I really wanted to do was jump up and join the guys on stage, but I knew it wouldn't be smart.

Walking into the dressing room, I saw Logan and Kendall shirtless, locked in an embrace. I cleared my throat loudly and they jumped away from each other. I laughed at them and Logan stuck his tongue out. Kendall chose a more vicious approach and flipped me off. I shoved him and we got into a wrestling match with Logan trying unsuccessfully to pull us apart. James walked in and, seeing us, tried to help Logan but ended up fighting with Logan. Kendall shoved me away and went to protect Logan, while I hopped on James' back and covered his eyes. Kendall and Logan fell to the floor, rolling around.

DBelt walked in and exclaimed loudly, "You guys are _so_ gay!"

We all got off each other and laughed, but soon started hooting at Kendall who was sporting a fresh hard-on. To DBelt's disgust, Logan stepped over and started rubbing him through his pants.

We all expressed sounds of displeasure as Kendall pretended to moan along.

"That's enough!" DBelt said and pushed them away from each other. We all went our separate ways and got changed, then headed back to the hotel to pack.

During the ride to the airport, Kendall was in obvious distress without Logan, who had to ride with DBelt and our manager.

"Don't worry Kendall, soon we'll be in Florida and you can finally fuck Logan and solve your-"

I couldn't even finish before he punched my arm, which caused James to hit him back, starting a fight. I had to struggle to push them apart.

Once he settled down, Kendall said, "And besides, Sarah's starting to realize what's going on and won't let us stay in the same room."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"I mean Logan is rooming with Carlos and you and I have to room together."

"Fucking Sarah." I mumbled.

We didn't really talk much more after that and everyone but me fell asleep on the plane. I stayed up for about an hour, requesting drink after drink. I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop myself once I started. When I had enough I fell asleep surprisingly quickly.

I woke up from the sound of Logan's soft moans. "Not here, man." I said, kicking the seat in front of me. The sounds cut off, but I realized I had enjoyed them. I was semi hard and thinking dirty thoughts about Logan. I blamed it on James, we hadn't done anything in a while and I just awoke from a steamy dream starring my favorite jew.

I fell asleep, resting my head on James' shoulder.

I woke up again to the voice of the pilot, informing us of our landing. I groaned and stretched, neck stiff from staying in one position. I nudged James to wake him up. He yawned massively and got up to use the bathroom. I frowned after him. He hadn't even said a word to me.

Logan popped up over the back of the seat in front of me and cheerily said good morning. I sighed. _He_ would say good morning.

"Good night too, huh?" I asked, winking at him.

He blushed and punched my shoulder.

"Is that why Kendall's still asleep?" I asked. "Too rough, you wore him out?"

I dodged his next punched and he replied, "Kendall wasn't even awake-"

"Whoa! That's illegal!" I exclaimed, cutting him off. I wished James was here to hear that, it was good.

"You ass!" He said, fist connecting to my jaw. I saw James coming and I knew he had seen it.

"James! Logan hit me!" I whined, grabbing his arm.

"Carlos, stop." He said, shaking me off and sitting in his seat. I looked down at him. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I have a headache, I hate sleeping on planes, and you're not helping." He replied. I shut up and sat down.

"Well, we're close to the hotel and we can all go to sleep again." Logan told him. He nodded.

The plane landed and we stumbled through the terminals to the car waiting outside. Logan and I lead the group, being the only two awake enough to process where we were going. We all piled our stuff in the trunk and climbed in. James fell asleep again right away, even though it was going to be a short ride. We were packed in tight because we were trying to cut down the amount of cars we use. James was leaning against the window on one side with Kendall against the other window. Logan and I were squished together in the middle, talking quietly about the tour. He suddenly changed subjects.

"Carlitos, listen…" He said. Logan was one of the few who still called me that, but only when he was being serious.

"Yes?" I asked when he trailed off. I suddenly got nervous, but I don't know why. It's just lately I've been thinking about Logan a lot, especially after last night. I've always had a soft spot for Logan, he's just so sweet and caring.

"I…I've just been thinking. About…I don't know, about life in general. Doesn't it seem…audacious to…to kind of seclude yourself?"

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds. "Logan, what are you talking about?"

"Is James treating you good?" He asked suddenly, lowering his voice.

"Of course. James is amazing to me." I replied, confused.

"I guess I should get to the point." He said. I nodded.

"I've never liked settling with one person." He explained. "Don't you think it's wrong to seclude yourself to one person if you're not sure about them?" He asked, looking up and staring into my eyes. I stared back, dazed. He looked down at my lips and slowly leaned forward.

The car hit a bump and James and Kendall both groaned. Logan stopped and turned away just as we reached the hotel. We all grabbed our bags and went to the lobby where we were given our room keys. I was a little uneasy sharing the room with Logan, especially after I discovered the single bed.

"Ugh, why do they always do this?" I complained.

"Maybe it won't be so bad…" Logan responded. He disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on a few seconds later. I pulled out my phone and texted James, hoping he hadn't fallen asleep yet. I sat on the bed waiting, having a strange sense of déjà vu. This situation was like what happened to James and I…except there were two other people in the room. Logan and I were alone.

I thought about Logan in the shower and instantly got turned on. My stomach started hurting with guilt. I couldn't cheat on James. But we weren't dating, technically. Is that what Logan had been talking about in the car?

The water shut off and I started to panic. I shut my eyes and focused on taking deep breaths. Logan walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist. I peeked up at him and found him looking at me.

"Carlitos," he said. I got even more turned on from him calling me that. My hand twitched toward my crotch and Logan looked down. He smirked and stepped toward me. My breathing sped up as he put his warm hands on either side of my face. He tilted my head up and slowly leaned in. My heart was pounding; it was all I could hear.

Our lips connected and I couldn't help but pull him close. His fingers tangled in my hair and I let my hands roam his slick body. He sat on my lap, straddling me. His tongue crept along my lips, and I opened my mouth, allowing him entry.

I separated to take off my shirt and he pushed me back, running his hands down my chest. I put my hand on his head as he kissed my nipple, swirling his tongue around it. He continued kissing down my chest, while one hand found my bulge and started rubbing it. I moaned, arching my back and pushing his hand to rub me harder. He undid my belt and quickly pulled off my pants. I pulled his face to mine, kissing him with no regrets. He moved down and began skillfully sucking me off. My fingers tangled in his hair, moaning in time with his head bops. His towel fell to the floor and I started pumping him, causing him to moan which sent vibrations through my penis. I screamed out his name as I came, him coming a moment later.

We laid there, catching our breath. Logan got up and I cleaned us up. He put on boxers and joined me in bed. We fell asleep quickly.


	10. Love me, love me

**Chapter 10: Love me, love me**

**It's getting close to the end! Please review (:**

I woke up in the morning with an overpowering feeling of dread and guilt. What had I done but I knew the answer. I had betrayed James, gone against everything I worked for. I felt disgusting and dirty. Not because of Logan, because I had made the wrong decision and screwed everything up.

I pushed away from the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom, head pounding. I was no doubt hung over. After a wave of nausea passed, I climbed into the shower and turned the water as hot as I could stand. I stood against the wall, steaming water massaging my back. I a while in there, thinking, until the water ran cold. One I finally got out, I had decided to push all this behind me and forget about it. I wouldn't mention it to James or anyone.

I walked into the room and Logan was sitting up on the bed, phone in one hand, the other rubbing his head. He glanced up at me and blushed. I took a deep breath and told him, "Look Logan, I don't think we should mention this to anyone." His face fell and I scrambled for words. "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. It was…uh, anyway, it's just that I don't want what happened to ruin everything we have, it would tear this band apart and no one wants that, right?"

He nodded, but still looked sullen. I climbed onto the bed and pressed him against me. He wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my chest. I placed my hand on his messy hair. Sex hair. The feelings of last night came rushing back.

The sighs, the moans, the gasping for breath. The feeling of unity as we connected, a wholeness that I've never felt with James. I ran my hand down Logan's back, feeling him shiver.

I knew I had feelings for him, but it's different than what I felt for James. James has a hard exterior, whereas Logan is so sensitive. I squeezed him tighter, wishing I could shield him from everything and be his protector. This must be how Kendall felt.

Just then there was a knock on the door. I held Logan for a moment longer, then released him, getting up to answer it.

Speak of the devil. It was Kendall, requesting Logan.

"Come in." I mumbled.

He stepped in and walked over to the bed. "What's wrong with him?" He asked me. I just shook my head. I felt horrible for betraying James, but somehow even worse for breaking Logan's heart.

I quickly put on shoes and grabbed my jacket, heading out to find James and give these two a moment alone. I wandered the halls, no clue where I was going or where James was.

I turned the corner and ran into him, nearly spilling the coffee he was carrying.

"Geez, watch out!" he exclaimed, righting the tipped cup. He shook a few drops off his hand and looked at me.

"James, I've been looking for you!" I told him.

"Well, I've been here." He replied harshly. He sighed, looking frustrated at himself. "Listen Carlos," he said, his voice suddenly getting soft. "We need to talk."

His words shot through me and my heart started beating faster. Was he going to end this?

My mind went blank with worry. I didn't want to lose the moments with James, the intimacy, the relationship. Sex aside, this thing with James was the best thing to ever happen to me. I couldn't lose it, I just couldn't. It was the only thing keeping me sane.

By the time we were in his room, sitting on the love seat, I was already ready to get down on my knees and start begging him not to leave me.

"Carlos," James began. I took a deep breath, ready to throw myself down. "I…I feel bad. He said. I knew it was coming. I closed my eyes. "I've been treating you so badly lately and there's really no reason. I've been so stressed lately, we both have, but-"

"What do you mean, James?" I asked, cutting him off.

"I've been **rude** to you. Flat out mean. And I really don't know how I could, you're so sweet and nice to everyone."

"James," I said slowly. "You're just apologizing?" I asked.

"I know it's not much, but it's all I can do right now…" he replied, confused.

"You're not breaking up with me?"

"No! Of course not." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Why, do you want to? I mean, I know I've been treating you bad lately…" he said.

"Oh shut up! Of course I don't. I was just so worried you were going to!" I explained. He took me into his arms, my head automatically resting on his chest.

"Carlos, no matter what happens, I will never stop loving you. You know that, right?" he asked, looking down at me. I nodded slowly.

"We really need some alone time. How about later tonight?" he continued.

"Sure, sounds like fun. I replied absent mindedly. The feeling of guilt wouldn't go away, no matter what I did. I considered telling him. A relationship had to have trust. If I came clean, it would be so much better than if he found out by someone else. On the other hand, if I told him he might really end things…

No, I had to tell him. I just had to.

I took a deep breath. "James, I-"

"Carlos, I'm so glad we're honest with each other."

"Yeah, listen-"

"Oh, hey guys." Kendall said, walking into the room. I sighed, frustrated. I was never going to get this out.

"Hey Kendall, have you been crying?" James asked, referring to Kendall's red-rimmed eyes.

"Or just getting high?" I joked.

"Ha-ha." Kendall replied. "Yes, I was talking to Logan about something personal." He answered to James. "What?" he turned to me. "No witty comeback?"

I stayed silent. Kendall stalked out of the room.

"What's his deal?" James asked me. I shrugged.

"Anyway, we've got to get to rehearsal. You ready?" he asked, standing up, offering me his hand. I took it and stood, nodding.

Rehearsal was painfully awkward. I was glad when it was finally over. Logan wouldn't talk to me, Kendall only did when he had to. James was surprisingly oblivious the whole time, which seemed suspicious to me. But I had other things to worry about.

I saw Logan walk into the dressing room and I followed. I shut the door behind me, turning to a distressed Logan. He wouldn't meet my eyes and I sighed, frustrated.

"Logan, I know you have something to say. Tell me."

He sat on the couch, looking down at his thumbs.

"I know you told Kendall. I'm not mad." I told him.

"You're not?" he asked, glancing up at me.

"No, of course not." I replied, sitting next to him.

"But you said not to tell anyone."

"Logan, I can't control what you do." I said, putting my arm around him. "I had a feeling you'd tell him."

"I'm sorry." He said, looking down again.

"Stop that." I said, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. I waited until he met my eyes. "Don't be sorry. I'm not and you shouldn't be. I know there's more you want to say."

He pulled his head away and thought for a few moments.

"It's just…when I woke up, I expected us to be happy. I mean, _I_ was. But then you come out, full of regret…" he trailed off.

I took a deep breath. I knew I had hurt him.

"Logan, I did feel regret. But not because we did stuff. I have a feeling we would have ended up doing something like that anyway. But the only reason I feel bad is because I'm committed to James."

"Does James know?" he asked quietly.

"No," I sighed. "I need to tell him. But Logan, don't feel rejected by me. It just wasn't the right time."

"Yeah, you're right. And I have Kendall, he understands."

"See? It all works out." I said, rubbing his back.

"Until you tell James. Good luck with that." He said, smirking at me.

I groaned.


	11. It's gonna be a big, big night

**Chapter 11: It's gonna be a big, big night**

**Well guys, this is it. The final chapter. I hope you loved following this story as much I loved writing it. Please review (:**

After a long, tiring day at rehearsal we finally made it back to the hotel only to be told to pack everything up and leave for the flight to Atlanta.

I was glad that Logan and I had patched things up and he was no longer acting awkward. Now, all that's left is to talk to Kendall. And tell James.

We climbed into the taxi and I considered telling him. But there are other people in the car and I didn't want to cause a scene.

On the plane I considered telling him. But not 5 minutes after we boarded, he was fast asleep. I stayed awake, mind racing. Suddenly, a felt a hand clasp my shoulder and I flinched, turning toward them.

"Sorry," Kendall whispered.

"What do you want, man?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you. Come on." He said, waving me forward. I stood up and quickly glanced back at James, still asleep.

Following Kendall to the back of the plane, we found some empty seats and sat down.

"This couldn't wait until later?" I demanded. Even though I wasn't able to sleep, I _was_ tired and didn't exactly feel like having a conversation right now.

"Sorry," he said again. "I saw you were awake and I couldn't sleep. We need to talk, according to Logan. He wants us to work things out. Only, I don't know what to say to you."

It was silent for a few seconds. "Kendall, I don't know what to say either. I mean, I obviously wasn't trying to hurt you intentionally. It just kind of happened…"

"But did you even consider how I was going to feel? Or James?"

"Of course I did. But you know what it's like when you're caught up in the moment, you can't think straight. And I felt so guilty the next morning, especially since we both had been drinking."

"It doesn't matter if you felt guilty. You still did something you shouldn't have and-"

"Why are you blaming me? If I remember correctly, Logan came on to _me_, not the other way around. I just couldn't resist him, it's not like I seduced him into doing stuff. And we didn't even have sex, just jacked off. You're acting like it's a huge deal when it really isn't. You and Logan weren't "together" at the time, so technically he didn't cheat on you. If you have a tiff with me because I showed interest then you're arguing with the wrong guy."

Kendall sighed and leaned forward, putting his head in his arms. He turned toward me.

"I'm sorry, Carlos. I'm just really worked up about it. Just knowing that _you_ caused him to moan out, _you_ were the one giving him pleasure…"

"Kendall, maybe you need to… er, have "fun" with him more often. Most likely, the reason why he was into me was because one, he was drunk. Or at least tipsy. And two, it had been a while. And I was just there, vulnerable."

"You're right. It's probably my fault."

"I'm not saying that. It's mine and Logan's fault. But we can agree that there was no harm done, right?"

He nodded.

"So we're cool?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're cool." He replied, hooking his arm around my shoulders.

"Good. I don't think I could stand you being mad at me for any longer."

"Have you told James?" He asked softly.

I sighed. "No. I can't find the right time to do it. I know I have to though."

"You do. For the sake of your relationship. Or at least your well-being." He stood up. "Good luck. Night." He patted me on the back and walked back to his seat. A few seconds later his overhead light clicked off and all I heard was snoring and breathing. I stood up and maneuvered my way back to James. I stared at his face and wondered how he would take it. He'd be mad, no doubt. He has a temper. I really hoped he'd be forgiving though, and that I wouldn't ruin our friendship by telling him.

I finally drifted off about an hour later, but was woken up too soon. James announced we had landed in Atlanta and I stretched, suddenly getting butterflies. I knew I'd be telling him today.

He leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. I flashed a grin in his general direction and went to the bathroom.

I really didn't want to do this. I didn't want to see the pain in James' eyes, the rejection I'll receive. But it was all my fault and I had to fix it.

When we got to the hotel, Kendall and Logan nearly barreled their way through everyone to get to their room. From the lust in Logan's eyes and Kendall's straining pants, I knew the reason why. I was glad they were all patched up and ready to go.

James and I walked slowly to our room, dropping our stuff on the floor once inside. He turned to me.

"Carlos, are you and Kendall fighting?"

I stopped what I was doing and stood straight. "Um, what do you mean?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"I don't know, I just had a feeling yesterday. He wasn't talking to you or anything."

"Uh yeah, we had a little argument. But everything's fine now." I assured him. He continued staring and I took a deep breath, knowing this was the moment.

"James, sit down." I instructed. "I…have something to tell you."

Confused, he took a seat on the couch, looking up at me as I paced the small room.

"Is it bad?" He asked.

"Well…" I sighed. "James, I _can't_ keep doing this. I need to tell you straight out. Two nights ago, Logan and I were drinking and we did stuff." James' mouth dropped open, shock on his face. "But nothing _bad_! Just messing around." I kept going, trying to erase the hurt from his face.

"Carlos…"

"James, _please_-"

"You really did this?" He asked. Tears sprang to my eyes. I wiped them away angrily, ashamed at myself. Of course James wouldn't understand. What I did was unacceptable.

I nodded, turning away from him. I heard him stand, and felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Was it… my fault?"

I spun around. James _was_ hurt, but for the wrong reason. He thought I did it because of _him_.

"No! James, listen. I was _drunk_. But I know that's no excuse. I love you and I'm _so_ sorry. I know sorry doesn't even cut it-"

"You, you love me?" He asked.

I caressed his cheek, smoothing the soft skin. "Of course. I always have."

He smiled. "I love you too, Carlos."

"Even after what I did?" I asked.

He sighed. "I'm not happy about it. But I know it was partly my fault, for ignoring your needs." His hand slid down my spine, resting on my lower back.

"James, what are you doing?" I asked as he brought it forward, going up under my shirt.

"How about we have some fun?"

Seconds later, I was pulling his head down, our lips connecting, smashing together. I struggled to keep up with his quick tongue. He pulled away to take off his shirt, and I followed, pulling mine off and throwing it to the ground.

His hands returned to my body, sliding all over. I moved my lips to his neck, kissing up and down. I sucked on the skin on his collarbone, causing him to moan out. His hands were on my ass, pressing me into him.

I ran my hands along his stomach, stopping to undo his belt. He helped me pull his pants off, and I started rubbing him through his boxers.

"C'mon, Carlos. Stop teasing and suck it." He said, practically pushing me down to my knees. I released his throbbing cock from it's fabric prison, and immediately started pumping him. I started slow, making him beg to get me to speed up.

I licked the tip, gently swirling my tongue around his slit. He groaned, fingers winding into my hair. I slid my tongue on the underside of his dick, feeling the bulging vein.

"Carlos, please, suck me." He begged. I obeyed, plunging his cock into my mouth, taking all of him in. He moaned, hips buckling.

After a few bobs, he started moaning that he was close. I pulled away, taking off my pants, James' eyes widening as he saw I was going commando.

"Get on the bed." I said. He obeyed, laying down and spreading his legs apart. "Slut." I muttered, going into my bag. I pulled out condoms and lube, walking over to James.

"Are you sure you're ready?" James asked, taking the condoms. I nodded, laying down on my stomach.

James kissed the back of my neck, fingers trailing down my spine. I shivered when he got to my ass, cupping the cheeks. He leaned forward and slowly licked the puckered hole, causing me to groan into the pillows.

"Stop muffling yourself Carlos, papi wants to hear all you got." I moaned again, hearing him say _papi_. It turned me on so much.

"Quiero sentir dentro de mí, James." I panted, not caring if he didn't understand. He pulled away, and I heard the bottle of lube opening. Moments later, I felt the coldness touch my hole. I flinched, but relaxed as it warmed. James inserted a finger, rubbing the inner walls. I moaned, grinding down on it.

"Another." I requested, groaning as he slipped in a second digit, making a scissoring movement, stretching me.

He pulled them out, causing me to whimper. "Relax." He instructed as he rolled on the condom. He squeezed out more lube, rubbing it on himself and some more on me.

"Okay. Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop." He waited for me to nod before continuing.

He lined up his dick with my hole and gently pushed in. Pain raced up my spine, making me recoil into the pillows.

"Want me to stop?" He asked, pausing.

I took a few breaths, then replied. "Keep going."

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded, grasping the sheets.

He slowly pushed in, groaning as I engulfed him. He bottomed out, then paused.

"Tell me when to move."

I waited as the pain slowly ebbed away, leaving only pleasure. I shifted, feeling James' balls on mine.

"Move." I instructed. He slowly pulled out, then slammed back in. I cried out, moaning into the pillows. James thrusted into me, pounding my ass like there was no tomorrow.

He pulled all the way out, telling me to turn over. Now laying on my back, he slowly pushed all of him back in, watching my face contort in pleasure. When he was all the way in, he leaned forward, kissing me.

He continued to fuck me, getting faster and faster as his orgasm built up.

I started to pump myself, but James' hand soon replaced mine, stroking me at an erratic pace.

Soon, I felt the warmth gathering in my abdomen.

"James, James I'm close. _Aahh, ahh- ohh_." I came hard into James' hand, spilling cum over both of us.

"Shit, Carlos." He panted, sweat falling from his forehead. He thrusted once more before releasing himself inside me.

He pulled out and threw the condom away. We went under the covers, and turned off the lights.

"I love you, baby." He whispered against my ear.

"I love you so much." I replied.


End file.
